Earlier this week I had to take a bus and while I was standing in line, two older White gentlemen were conversing with each other about how the women bus drivers were terrible drivers. My rage kept building but I tried to ignore them. Then when we got on the bus I made the mistake of sitting behind one of them. They had just met at the bus stop so rather than sitting together they sat across from one another. For the first five minutes of the bus ride they continued with their sexist comments. It took all I had to refrain myself from telling them, “Shut the fuck up! Who the fuck are you to generalize about women based on a couple of drivers you’ve had? And most likely if a male driver was aggressive you would have encouraged his dominating abilities. You stupid morons!” But no, it was my birthday and I didn’t want to ruin it. Later in the ride the man in front of me pulled out an almost empty bottle of whiskey and took a couple of shots. Watching him do this washed away all the anger I had for him and it was replaced by pity. What would make two strangers connect on making fun of a group of people? Perhaps their own alienation and feeling of powerlessness.
I’ve noticed that we often disregard our own privileges in society and focus on how we are the victims. This happens with gender, politics, age, sexuality, ethnicity, class, etc. For instance, regardless of what political group you affiliate with, there are constantly supporters who see themselves as the victim. The left-wing will say how the right-wing controls the media, and vice versa. Aside from what is reality, people’s reality of the world seems to be focused on how they are disadvantaged rather than acknowledging how their privilege in certain arenas disempowers others. Whenever you have competing forces for domination, both sides will see themselves as victims of the other’s attempted suppression, even if they are dominating. Why is that? Why does society constantly focus on how “I am disadvantaged” rather than being humble enough to recognize that “I am also privileged”?
