It’s been a while since I posted. I’ve been keeping myself busy with things. I am currently unemployed and it is surprising how busy I am because of it. In addition to wedding planning and job hunting I have found myself to be the gopher of the family. I am asked to conduct tasks that other family members can’t because they don’t have the ‘free time’ that I do. At least I’m not bored out of my mind.
Something that has been bothering me lately is POC that conform to right-wing justifications on the war on terror. I’ve noticed this with some of my to-be family members. As I’ve mentioned before, my fiance is of Taiwanese descent while I am of South-Indian descent. Just like some of my family members, some of his family members are very conservative, right-wing individuals. We used to be too until we received a broader perspective of the world through our experiences in the past couple of years. So these family members constantly justify the ‘war on terror’ and the fight against ‘terrorism’. One of the things that bothers me about this is their lack of recognition that ‘terrorists’ is often times used as a synonym for dark-skinned Asian peoples (or those that look like them). I know what it is like to be looked at with suspicion because of the colour of my skin. I’ve watched as my family was constantly stopped for a ‘random check’ when we tried to cross the American border while White families easily passed through without so much as a blink. I saw how my father struggled to find a full-time job (he is highly educated and experienced in his field) and how he didn’t get hired until he shaved off his beard. I’ve seen how people would only make eye contact with my White friends while avoiding looking at me while they spoke to all of us. The fact that our family is Christian, that we support charities, that we pay our taxes, that we are proud Canadian citizens, that we work hard does not matter. To those who scrutinize us and question us on our terrorist capabilities all that matters is that we look like those terrorists. Those who killed ‘innocent’ Americans. All they see is our skin colour and our ‘foreignness’.
I know that just because an individual is considered a coloured person that it doesn’t mean they know what it is like to be a person of a different colour. For instance, I do not know what it is really like to be a person of African descent or of East Asian descent. I can somewhat understand intellectually, but I cannot truly understand their experiences as POC. My fiance and his family do not understand the experiences that I have had because they are not the same type of POC that we are. They do not know what it is like to be assumed to be Muslim, or a terrorist, or someone who threatens White mainstream Canadian culture. Yes, they have their own experiences of discrimination, but that doesn’t mean they do not add to the discrimination against people that look like me.
I do not know how to address this issue with them. In many ways it could really rock the boat on our relationship (between myself and these family members). So far they have treated me really well and accepted me into their family. I’m hesitant to jeopardize that but at the same time it bothers me that they don’t recognize how their lack of understanding on the nuances of American military politics really affects me and those like me.
Note: Just to clarify, I do not believe anyone should be judged on their appearance. I do not believe that the scrutiny that Muslims receive is justified because some Muslims carry out violent acts against non-Muslims. There are “Christians” who would want to kill me and my family because we are not White Christians, but not every White Christian is made out to be a terrorist. It is not fair to judge an entire group based on a select few individuals who carry out extreme actions.
