I’m going to India next month with my family. It will be ten years since the last time I went for a visit and I’m sure much has changed. This time I will actually have an appreciation for the visit. I was a teenager the last time I was there and I was still going through my denial stage. I saw myself as completely Canadian and didn’t recognize the importance of my ethnic, linguistic and ancestral background. I’m quite excited to visit this time because I truly want to go.
I am disappointed though that I still cannot speak Kannada. I understand simple conversation but I cannot articulate myself. The limited words and phrases that I do know also comes out with an unappealing Western accept that just makes me never want to try. I’m sure I will still get lectured by some of my older relatives for not understanding. At least I will have the satisfaction of knowing that I will have to be the translator for my younger sister. She knows more Japanese, French, and Korean than Kannada, but who can really blame her or myself. Other than my parents, we didn’t know anyone else that spoke Kannada.
That’s why I really envy my fiance. His family is Taiwanese and they speak Mandarin to each other. Although he has told me that as he gets older he keeps forgetting more and more Mandarin, he has the opportunity to prevent that. The Mandarin-speaking population in Southern Ontario is far greater than the Kannada-speaking population, and if we have children, they will be able to attend a Mandarin church or Mandarin school. But as far as Kannada goes all they would have is my parents, and judging from the outcome of myself and my sister, that doesn’t give me much hope. I really wish I could learn more Kannada, but I just don’t see it as being feasible.
