Identity Through Koreanness Saturday, Aug 16 2008

I have been listening to Japanese and Korean music for the past seven years, and counting. The music made me look into other forms of Japanese and Korean media, such as variety shoes, music shows, movies, dramas, etc. which in turn gave me greater exposure to Japanese and Korean culture, respectively. With Korean culture in particular, or should I say, overt mainstream Korean culture, I found that there were many things that I could relate to. The mentality, the hierarchy, the gender discrimination, idealized images, etc. were also rampant in my parent’s culture. Even though my parents didn’t buy into many traditional Indian values (mostly because they were Christian and somewhat progressive – they’re still quite conservative), I was still exposed to these socialzing factors via other family members and through interaction with other Indians.

In a sense, the exposure that I had to Korean culture and those who talked about their issues with it (mostly Korean Americans) helped me feel like I wasn’t alone. Not necessarily like I belonged, because I am far from finding a “community” that I really fit into or can find a nice nook to plant my butt in, but more so knowing that there are others who are struggling just like me. That’s one of the reasons that I read so many things by Korean Americans/Canadians or Koreans in American/Canada because since there isn’t an Indian community for myself, I can kind of look to them from a distance for guidance. I think it’s better to read about others’ experiences to reflect on your own life, even if it isn’t completely the same, rather than not having anything at all.

For my research, which is on second-generation Keralite Christian women in the GTA, I read a lot of literature on Korean Christians in the U.S. This was mostly because they have so much more literature than any other recent racialized Christian community, but also because the more I read about them, the more I understood my own community. The immigrant experience, the conflict of living between two worlds, being brought up by immigrant parents, feeling isolated by White Christian communities, constantly racialized, etc. These issues were actually being addressed in this literature. I didn’t feel like I was the only one who noticed. And it feels good to know you’re not alone; that you’re not imagining things, or your not looking too much into your observations. It’s good to have that verification. And so, having some sort of connection with the Korean community in Canada/U.S. (even if it is just online or thorugh literature) really helped me deal with a lot of identity issues that I had. I’m still dealing with it, but I just wanted to share how it is possible to learn more about yourself and your experiences from a different culture than your own.

This book in particular helped me a lot. Actually, most of the literature written by Rebecca Y. Kim has. “God’s New Whiz Kids? Korean American Evangelicals on Campus” by Rebecally Y. Kim (2006).

P.S. I can read Hangul and I can’t even read Kannada.

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Ignore Or Pursue? Wednesday, Aug 6 2008

I am currently working on my own research for a Masters program I’m completing. I am looking and second generation women from a particular Indian Christian community who attend a mono-ethnic congregation. From the interviews   conducted so far it has made me really feel a connection to these women. So many of their experiences mimic my own, yet some of their perspectives on these experiences are so different from my own. I’m so curious as to what causes this difference. Is it because of a difference in personalities, or upbringing, or even our different Christian communities? How has attending a mono-ethnic church differ from attending a multi-ethnic church?

Ever since I’ve been with my partner I have wondered what it would have been like if I had closer contact with others from my ethno-religious community. Unlike his family who attended a mono-ethnic church, my family attended a multi-ethnic church and had a less emphasis on the integration of religion and culture. For many of my participants it was the opposite. I wonder what I would have been like attending one of their churches. Would I be the person I am today? Would I have even thought about being with my fiance, who is of Taiwanese descent? And now, do I want to pursue relationships with members of my community? Would I be better off or should I stop thinking that I am lacking something in my life? I’m not sure if I am being petty or if this growing desire is something worth addressing.

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Engagement Approval Tuesday, May 27 2008

As I mentioned previously, I’m going to India with my family next week. I’m looking forward to it despite the reservations I have. I’m not sure how my family members will react to my engagement, especially since my fiance is of Taiwanese descent. My immediate family already knows I’m engaged and some have seen pictures on FB of the two of us. I’m pretty sure word has spread that he’s not Indian…or White. It’s usually assumed that if Indians marry out that it will be to a White person. But anyway, I have no idea what to expect their reactions to be. First, I don’t really understand the humour of my family’s culture. I just never grew up with it and I don’t know the context of it. I’m hoping that I will be less judgmental and more forgiving towards things that I would otherwise take offensively. The last thing I want is another one of my debates with my “liberal” ideas.

Second, I’m not sure if I’m supposed to care of their approval or disapproval. As far as I’m concerned it’s none of their business, but should I be thankful if they do give their approval? I’m not sure. Neither myself or my fiance asked for our parents approval or blessing towards our engagement. Was that wrong of us? I’d like to think it was our decision but should we care for our parents and families’ blessings?

It’s tough growing up with a different culture than your parents. For the both of us we are discovering our parents and their cultures through their reactions towards our decisions. Sometimes it is really frustrating because of the lack of communication. It’s not necessarily one side’s fault because culture and values are usually taken for granted and regarded as common sense. But it definitely causes aggravation and hurt feelings – something I would rather avoid. I’m not one to go out of my way to hurt people, although for the most part I can’t help it.

I wonder if Canadians with non-immigrant parents go through the same thing. Do they also learn about their parent’s culture through their actions? Is this also a generational thing and not just an immigrant family experience? If it is then I guess I would feel more normal…although this type of normal isn’t necessarily what I would want to be my normal.

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My Beef With Census Canada Tuesday, May 13 2008

It was recently declared by the most recent Census Canada data (from 2006) that South Asians have surpassed the Chinese with the largest population in the visibility minority category. From those that filled out their census form, 1.3 million people have South Asian ancestry.

There are two things that bothers me about these stats (other than people not filling out their surveys). First, the term South Asian is so broad and essentializes a diverse group of people into a category based on an abstract construction of race. According to the Cesus Canada, South Asians are individuals who were born in or whose ancestors were born in India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Bhutan, and Bangladesh. Yup, definitely diverse. So why are all these countries lumped together while other categories like Chinese and Filipino are given their own? Just because we all fall under a category of “brown skin” doesn’t mean we should all be grouped into one category. I really don’t understand the logic behind the creation of these ethnic categories.

Second, the census asks people what ethnic categories their ancestors are and not what ethnic category/categories they want to affiliate with. Therefore someone like me, a visible minority whose ancestors fall under the category of South Asian, cannot claim my ethnicity to be Canadian. Some people would object to this, but I think it is important to find out how people want to identify themselves rather than forcing them into a labelled category based on their ancestry. Why should a person living in Canada have their identification constrained by how Stats Canada and other official organizations want to label them. If I want to call myself Canadian then I should be able to do that regardless of whether or not I was born in Canada or how my parents and grandparents affiliate themselves. First, second, and third generation Canadians should not be treated differently than later generations and all Canadian residents should be given the right to label themselves as they want. Limiting people’s ability to do so and restricting the access to classify one’s ethnicity as Canadian perpetuates the misguided ideology of Canada as a White nation where only “real Canadians” are those of fully European ancestry.

REFERENCES
The Globe And Mail: “Canada’s visible minorities top five million”

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Why Don’t You Go Back Thursday, May 8 2008

I came across a poem recently that I thought would be perfect to post on here. It is by Joann Miyamoto, an American-born Japanese American. Although I’m not Japanese-American I think her poem really speaks to issues that many racialized peoples living in Canada and the U.S. face and have faced – myself included.

Untitled – Joann Miyamoto

When I was young
Kids used to ask me
what are you?
I’d tell them what my mom told me
I’m an American
chin chin Chinaman
You’re a Jap!
Flashing hot inside
I’d go home
my mom would say
don’t worry
he that walks alone
walks faster

people kept asking me
what are you?
And I would always answer
I’m am American
they’d say
no, what nationality
but there was always
someone asking me
what are you?
Now I answer
I’m an Asian
and they say
why do you want to separate yourselves
now I say
I’m Japanese
and they say
don’t you know this is the greatest country in the world
now I say in America
I’m part of the third world people
and they say
if you don’t like it here
why don’t you go back.

Printed in Roots: An Asian American Reader.
Edited by Amy Tachiki, Eddie Wong & Franklin Odo.
1971. p98-99.

I can relate all too well to this poem and it makes me wonder, when will non-whites ever be considered full citizens. Is that even a possibility? Will we always be seen as aliens, foreigners and undesirables?

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