I’ve noticed that over the past few months there has been an increase in the number of parenting blogs I read. What’s up with that? I’ve never been fond of kids and I’ve never really had much desire to have my own (other than assuming I would because that is what society expects me to do). More recently in my relationship with my fiance I have been responding to people’s comments about our future children by stating that we don’t have any intention to procreate. Most people are taken aback when they hear this – I figure because a lot of people still hold the notion that marriage is only a union for procreating and cannot simply be a life-long companionship. I’m not against having children but it bothers me that people assume that I will have kids. Maybe I will, maybe I won’t, but I still think I am way too young to be thinking about that now. And why are people so concerned with other people’s lives anyway? If you like kids then have your own. Anyway, I wonder if this has influenced my increased readership to these blogs. Or perhaps I am slowly starting to like kids? I’m not sure, but I know that the thought of having children makes me want to puke.

I went to a BBQ with my fiance this past weekend and his friend mentioned something that really got me thinking. This friend is the product of a Chinese-Canadian and German-Canadian union. We were talking about his recent trip to South Korea and he said how unified he found South Koreans to be with their culture. We discussed the pros and cons of being a part of such a system and he stated that he found that people of Korean descent in Canada who marry each other had an easier time understanding each other because they understood the background of the other person. He was never used to that growing up.

This made me think about the effects my union with my fiance will have on our children (if we choose to have any). Since I’m Indo-Canadian and he is Taiwanese-Canadian, there will be inevitable issues that our children will have to face as part of their individual identity construction that other children may not have to because their parents are from similar cultures. This does not make me regret my decision, but at this point I don’t know if there is anything I should be doing to assist in that process. I don’t know how much help I will be since I had to go through my own identity issues growing up. I had Indian parents, but not the “right type” of Indian parents (according to other kids with Indian parents) because my family is from South India and we are Christian (not Hindu or Sikh, which to many people are seen as the only religions in India). I just hope I won’t be doing a disservice to my future children because I don’t know how to assist them in feeling comfortable in their own skin (literally).

One of my worst fears is that my kids will feel inclined to choose between identifying themselves with either their Indian heritage or their Taiwanese heritage. I want them to know both sides of their ancestry while also feeling comfortable to call themselves Canadian. I hope they will have pride in their ancestry and not view it as a superficial attribute to score brownie points with people who see mixed unions as a nostalgic attribute to Canadian society rather than two families coming together to form a union that isn’t any different than any other non-mixed union. I don’t want them to feel different from everyone else because of who they are and where they come from.

[edit] I just watched a segment put on by msnbc called Multiracial in America. I got the link from a post on Kimchi Mamas. What great timing! [/edit]