I am currently working on my own research for a Masters program I’m completing. I am looking and second generation women from a particular Indian Christian community who attend a mono-ethnic congregation. From the interviews   conducted so far it has made me really feel a connection to these women. So many of their experiences mimic my own, yet some of their perspectives on these experiences are so different from my own. I’m so curious as to what causes this difference. Is it because of a difference in personalities, or upbringing, or even our different Christian communities? How has attending a mono-ethnic church differ from attending a multi-ethnic church?

Ever since I’ve been with my partner I have wondered what it would have been like if I had closer contact with others from my ethno-religious community. Unlike his family who attended a mono-ethnic church, my family attended a multi-ethnic church and had a less emphasis on the integration of religion and culture. For many of my participants it was the opposite. I wonder what I would have been like attending one of their churches. Would I be the person I am today? Would I have even thought about being with my fiance, who is of Taiwanese descent? And now, do I want to pursue relationships with members of my community? Would I be better off or should I stop thinking that I am lacking something in my life? I’m not sure if I am being petty or if this growing desire is something worth addressing.

I went to a BBQ with my fiance this past weekend and his friend mentioned something that really got me thinking. This friend is the product of a Chinese-Canadian and German-Canadian union. We were talking about his recent trip to South Korea and he said how unified he found South Koreans to be with their culture. We discussed the pros and cons of being a part of such a system and he stated that he found that people of Korean descent in Canada who marry each other had an easier time understanding each other because they understood the background of the other person. He was never used to that growing up.

This made me think about the effects my union with my fiance will have on our children (if we choose to have any). Since I’m Indo-Canadian and he is Taiwanese-Canadian, there will be inevitable issues that our children will have to face as part of their individual identity construction that other children may not have to because their parents are from similar cultures. This does not make me regret my decision, but at this point I don’t know if there is anything I should be doing to assist in that process. I don’t know how much help I will be since I had to go through my own identity issues growing up. I had Indian parents, but not the “right type” of Indian parents (according to other kids with Indian parents) because my family is from South India and we are Christian (not Hindu or Sikh, which to many people are seen as the only religions in India). I just hope I won’t be doing a disservice to my future children because I don’t know how to assist them in feeling comfortable in their own skin (literally).

One of my worst fears is that my kids will feel inclined to choose between identifying themselves with either their Indian heritage or their Taiwanese heritage. I want them to know both sides of their ancestry while also feeling comfortable to call themselves Canadian. I hope they will have pride in their ancestry and not view it as a superficial attribute to score brownie points with people who see mixed unions as a nostalgic attribute to Canadian society rather than two families coming together to form a union that isn’t any different than any other non-mixed union. I don’t want them to feel different from everyone else because of who they are and where they come from.

[edit] I just watched a segment put on by msnbc called Multiracial in America. I got the link from a post on Kimchi Mamas. What great timing! [/edit]

I came across a poem recently that I thought would be perfect to post on here. It is by Joann Miyamoto, an American-born Japanese American. Although I’m not Japanese-American I think her poem really speaks to issues that many racialized peoples living in Canada and the U.S. face and have faced – myself included.

Untitled – Joann Miyamoto

When I was young
Kids used to ask me
what are you?
I’d tell them what my mom told me
I’m an American
chin chin Chinaman
You’re a Jap!
Flashing hot inside
I’d go home
my mom would say
don’t worry
he that walks alone
walks faster

people kept asking me
what are you?
And I would always answer
I’m am American
they’d say
no, what nationality
but there was always
someone asking me
what are you?
Now I answer
I’m an Asian
and they say
why do you want to separate yourselves
now I say
I’m Japanese
and they say
don’t you know this is the greatest country in the world
now I say in America
I’m part of the third world people
and they say
if you don’t like it here
why don’t you go back.

Printed in Roots: An Asian American Reader.
Edited by Amy Tachiki, Eddie Wong & Franklin Odo.
1971. p98-99.

I can relate all too well to this poem and it makes me wonder, when will non-whites ever be considered full citizens. Is that even a possibility? Will we always be seen as aliens, foreigners and undesirables?

Well I started yet another blog to write about my mundane life. This one is mostly in reference to my Indo-Canadian thoughts. I’m not sure what that means, but I guess we shall see how this blog develops.