I am currently working on my own research for a Masters program I’m completing. I am looking and second generation women from a particular Indian Christian community who attend a mono-ethnic congregation. From the interviews   conducted so far it has made me really feel a connection to these women. So many of their experiences mimic my own, yet some of their perspectives on these experiences are so different from my own. I’m so curious as to what causes this difference. Is it because of a difference in personalities, or upbringing, or even our different Christian communities? How has attending a mono-ethnic church differ from attending a multi-ethnic church?

Ever since I’ve been with my partner I have wondered what it would have been like if I had closer contact with others from my ethno-religious community. Unlike his family who attended a mono-ethnic church, my family attended a multi-ethnic church and had a less emphasis on the integration of religion and culture. For many of my participants it was the opposite. I wonder what I would have been like attending one of their churches. Would I be the person I am today? Would I have even thought about being with my fiance, who is of Taiwanese descent? And now, do I want to pursue relationships with members of my community? Would I be better off or should I stop thinking that I am lacking something in my life? I’m not sure if I am being petty or if this growing desire is something worth addressing.

I went to a BBQ with my fiance this past weekend and his friend mentioned something that really got me thinking. This friend is the product of a Chinese-Canadian and German-Canadian union. We were talking about his recent trip to South Korea and he said how unified he found South Koreans to be with their culture. We discussed the pros and cons of being a part of such a system and he stated that he found that people of Korean descent in Canada who marry each other had an easier time understanding each other because they understood the background of the other person. He was never used to that growing up.

This made me think about the effects my union with my fiance will have on our children (if we choose to have any). Since I’m Indo-Canadian and he is Taiwanese-Canadian, there will be inevitable issues that our children will have to face as part of their individual identity construction that other children may not have to because their parents are from similar cultures. This does not make me regret my decision, but at this point I don’t know if there is anything I should be doing to assist in that process. I don’t know how much help I will be since I had to go through my own identity issues growing up. I had Indian parents, but not the “right type” of Indian parents (according to other kids with Indian parents) because my family is from South India and we are Christian (not Hindu or Sikh, which to many people are seen as the only religions in India). I just hope I won’t be doing a disservice to my future children because I don’t know how to assist them in feeling comfortable in their own skin (literally).

One of my worst fears is that my kids will feel inclined to choose between identifying themselves with either their Indian heritage or their Taiwanese heritage. I want them to know both sides of their ancestry while also feeling comfortable to call themselves Canadian. I hope they will have pride in their ancestry and not view it as a superficial attribute to score brownie points with people who see mixed unions as a nostalgic attribute to Canadian society rather than two families coming together to form a union that isn’t any different than any other non-mixed union. I don’t want them to feel different from everyone else because of who they are and where they come from.

[edit] I just watched a segment put on by msnbc called Multiracial in America. I got the link from a post on Kimchi Mamas. What great timing! [/edit]

My fiance and I just started to plan our wedding and by “just started” I mean that we just started yesterday. I started going through some bridal magazines that my mom’s co-worker gave me and aside from my constant gagging at the Disney fairytale bullshit that is plastered throughout this waste of paper, it had ads to sites including a bridal show. So I decided to go online and see if there are any upcoming shows that I can attend to help me get through this horrid planning that we have to undergo. Can you tell that I’m not a fan of wedding planning? So I came across a site that listed past and upcoming bridal shows in the Toronto area. Great! One thing that makes me life more easier. So I looked through the list and found a link to the Kismet Bridal Show which exhibits vendors for South Asian weddings. Perfect! Or so I thought. Under their articles section they had an articled called South Asian Religions and Tradtions. They had a pretty extensive collection of sections, which I was pleased to see. What I was not too thrilled about was their Christian section. At first I was excited that they had included Christianity in their article since I’ve noticed that most people generally ignore Christianity or Christians in and from India. My excitement was washed away though by the stereotypical depiction of a Christian wedding as a white, European wedding. Maybe I’m just not worldly enough, but I seriously doubt that Indian Christians incorporate a horseshoe into their wedding ceremonies. I could be wrong, but I seriously doubt it.

I’m disappointed (yet again) at the level of ignorance by people who are supposed to be educating and informing non-South Asians and non-Indians about the diversity among South Asians. Why are Christians, once again, ignored and assumed to only be of European descent? There are so many Christian traditions that are non-European and non-North American. Why must non-European descent Christians continue to be pushed to the sidelines and have their cultures, traditions and heritage ignored not only by the mainstream Christian community in the West but also by institutions that are supposed to be unbiased and public sources of information? Are these forms of Christianity not seen as good enough or accurate? That is definitely how it makes me feel. Now I cannot speak for all non-European descent Christians, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m not the only one that gets a little peeved at the level of ignorance in supposedly educated, liberal, progressive communities.

I couple of nights ago I began looking for white wedding sarees on the internet to procrastinate working on my paper. I came across this Yahoo Answers Page where the question was asked, “Where can I find a pure white wedding saree online from the USA?” I was anticipating reading the answers since I will most likely have to order my saree online. I’m skeptical of letting any relatives pick one out for me in India. As I read the comments though I was appalled by the ignorance in their answers. Two commenters insisted that wedding sarees are never white while another stated that white saris are only worn by widows. It upsets me that so many Indians or people of East Indian descent are STILL so uneducated and ignorant of the religious diversity of India.

White wedding sarees are worn by various Christian groups in India, including my own ancestry. I’m not sure when the tradition started but the longevity of this practice is irrelevant. What angers me is the assumption that anything non-Hindu is non-Indian. Hindus are not the only religious group to wear sarees and the general belief that to be Indian is to be Hindu is narrow-minded. I am really tired of having to point out that some practices can be considered distinctly Hindu while others can be seen as part of Indian culture (although that is a broad category in itself). I have had to in the past sustain questioning and ridicule by other people of East Indian descent on how I wasn’t a “real” Indian because I was not Hindu. Thankfully my Muslim friends weren’t so ignorant; possibly because they were subject to the same idiocy.

I just wonder how I should deal with this ignorance. Should I take it upon myself to use this as an opportunity for education? Or should I just brush it off since I will barely make a dent in changing such ignorance?

I read a sentence in an article that stated,

“As John Y. Fenton (1988, 232) postulates, Asian Indian Christians lose touch with their ethnic culture more quickly than do those of other traditions because culture is deemphasized” (Park, 2001).

I first questioned if this statement was an over-generalization of “Asian Indians” Christians, or “East Indian” Christians as they are termed in Canada. Can Asian Indian/ East Indian Christians all follow the same assimilation pattern? And if so, is it really because they place less emphasis on their culture?

This was definitely the case in my situation. My parents are firm believers that when you come to the U.S. or Canada you should try to fit in. We attend a multiethnic/multicultural church, we’ve moved away from a predominately Indian diet to a mixture of quick and easy foods that fill you up and last a while in the fridge, and we converse in English. My parents definitely have held onto some Indian things and have had to let go of many due to the assimilation that my sister and I underwent. For the most part, it was a losing battle for them. The church we attend wasn’t always multicultural – it used to be predominantly white and over time became more mixed. Another case of white flux (I think that’s what the term is). Anyway, in comparison to other Indians I have definitely noticed that my family is more accommodating of Canadian (read: white culture) practices than some other groups. But I wonder – is this because we’re Christian in a post-Christian society?

When I look at my cousins’ families, I can see how they have held onto certain Indian-Christian elements while also accommodating to Western-Christian and Canadian/American elements as well. But it’s interesting to see the mentality that these parents have in comparison to my non-Christian Indian friends’ parents. I guess the interpretation of religious doctrine and the historical ancestral context would influence the way one assimilates into North America. But I still wonder, why don’t we value our culture more?

REFERENCES
Park, Soyoung. “The Intersection of Religion, Race, Ethnicity, and Gender in the Identity Formation of Korean American Evangelical Women.” Korean Americans and Their Religions. Ed. Ho-Youn Kwon et. al. Pennsylvania State University Press, 2001. 201.