I just found an article called “Indian-Inspired Wedding Cakes”. It was pretty cool and I never really thought to incorporate my background and my fiance’s background into our wedding cake. It’s something I’m considering now. The post was by a person who has married a Kannadiga, and it’s my first time finding a blog by someone else posting about Kannada/Karnataka related things who is residing in North America. It excites me.
Wedding Cake Toppers Friday, Jul 11 2008
Wedding "Race", East Asian, Mixed Unions, South Asian, Wedding, White Privilege 3:16 pm
One of the few things that I actually care about for the wedding/reception is our wedding cake topper. I wanted one that had a South Asian bride and an East Asian groom. Well surprise, surprise they don’t have them. I don’t know why I thought that with the current increase in inter-ethnic marriages that wedding topper creators would get more creative. Most wedding toppers that were listed under the “ethnic” category (which is stupid since white people have an ethnicity also) were for couples from the same or similar ethnicity. There was a set of mix-and-match couples that was listed under every website I went to, but they had a pretty limited selection. Every “race” was represented by only one figurine for each sex except for *surprise surprise* the white category. They had theirs broken down into hair colour for added variety. Lucky them! There was an “Asian’ groom but there wasn’t a South Asian bride to choose from. So if we want to choose from that collection, I have to either be “African American” or “Hispanic”. *sigh*
Kismet Bridal Show Thursday, Jun 26 2008
Blogs/Sites and Ignorance and Religion assumption, Indo-Christian, South Asian, Wedding 2:57 pm
My fiance and I just started to plan our wedding and by “just started” I mean that we just started yesterday. I started going through some bridal magazines that my mom’s co-worker gave me and aside from my constant gagging at the Disney fairytale bullshit that is plastered throughout this waste of paper, it had ads to sites including a bridal show. So I decided to go online and see if there are any upcoming shows that I can attend to help me get through this horrid planning that we have to undergo. Can you tell that I’m not a fan of wedding planning? So I came across a site that listed past and upcoming bridal shows in the Toronto area. Great! One thing that makes me life more easier. So I looked through the list and found a link to the Kismet Bridal Show which exhibits vendors for South Asian weddings. Perfect! Or so I thought. Under their articles section they had an articled called South Asian Religions and Tradtions. They had a pretty extensive collection of sections, which I was pleased to see. What I was not too thrilled about was their Christian section. At first I was excited that they had included Christianity in their article since I’ve noticed that most people generally ignore Christianity or Christians in and from India. My excitement was washed away though by the stereotypical depiction of a Christian wedding as a white, European wedding. Maybe I’m just not worldly enough, but I seriously doubt that Indian Christians incorporate a horseshoe into their wedding ceremonies. I could be wrong, but I seriously doubt it.
I’m disappointed (yet again) at the level of ignorance by people who are supposed to be educating and informing non-South Asians and non-Indians about the diversity among South Asians. Why are Christians, once again, ignored and assumed to only be of European descent? There are so many Christian traditions that are non-European and non-North American. Why must non-European descent Christians continue to be pushed to the sidelines and have their cultures, traditions and heritage ignored not only by the mainstream Christian community in the West but also by institutions that are supposed to be unbiased and public sources of information? Are these forms of Christianity not seen as good enough or accurate? That is definitely how it makes me feel. Now I cannot speak for all non-European descent Christians, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m not the only one that gets a little peeved at the level of ignorance in supposedly educated, liberal, progressive communities.
Engagement Approval Tuesday, May 27 2008
Family and Identity and Parents Culture, Immigrant, India, Mixed Unions, Partner, Wedding 9:57 pm
As I mentioned previously, I’m going to India with my family next week. I’m looking forward to it despite the reservations I have. I’m not sure how my family members will react to my engagement, especially since my fiance is of Taiwanese descent. My immediate family already knows I’m engaged and some have seen pictures on FB of the two of us. I’m pretty sure word has spread that he’s not Indian…or White. It’s usually assumed that if Indians marry out that it will be to a White person. But anyway, I have no idea what to expect their reactions to be. First, I don’t really understand the humour of my family’s culture. I just never grew up with it and I don’t know the context of it. I’m hoping that I will be less judgmental and more forgiving towards things that I would otherwise take offensively. The last thing I want is another one of my debates with my “liberal” ideas.
Second, I’m not sure if I’m supposed to care of their approval or disapproval. As far as I’m concerned it’s none of their business, but should I be thankful if they do give their approval? I’m not sure. Neither myself or my fiance asked for our parents approval or blessing towards our engagement. Was that wrong of us? I’d like to think it was our decision but should we care for our parents and families’ blessings?
It’s tough growing up with a different culture than your parents. For the both of us we are discovering our parents and their cultures through their reactions towards our decisions. Sometimes it is really frustrating because of the lack of communication. It’s not necessarily one side’s fault because culture and values are usually taken for granted and regarded as common sense. But it definitely causes aggravation and hurt feelings – something I would rather avoid. I’m not one to go out of my way to hurt people, although for the most part I can’t help it.
I wonder if Canadians with non-immigrant parents go through the same thing. Do they also learn about their parent’s culture through their actions? Is this also a generational thing and not just an immigrant family experience? If it is then I guess I would feel more normal…although this type of normal isn’t necessarily what I would want to be my normal.
White Wedding Saree Thursday, May 15 2008
Prejudice and Religion assumption, Clothes, Education, Indo-Christian, Wedding 12:02 pm
I couple of nights ago I began looking for white wedding sarees on the internet to procrastinate working on my paper. I came across this Yahoo Answers Page where the question was asked, “Where can I find a pure white wedding saree online from the USA?” I was anticipating reading the answers since I will most likely have to order my saree online. I’m skeptical of letting any relatives pick one out for me in India. As I read the comments though I was appalled by the ignorance in their answers. Two commenters insisted that wedding sarees are never white while another stated that white saris are only worn by widows. It upsets me that so many Indians or people of East Indian descent are STILL so uneducated and ignorant of the religious diversity of India.
White wedding sarees are worn by various Christian groups in India, including my own ancestry. I’m not sure when the tradition started but the longevity of this practice is irrelevant. What angers me is the assumption that anything non-Hindu is non-Indian. Hindus are not the only religious group to wear sarees and the general belief that to be Indian is to be Hindu is narrow-minded. I am really tired of having to point out that some practices can be considered distinctly Hindu while others can be seen as part of Indian culture (although that is a broad category in itself). I have had to in the past sustain questioning and ridicule by other people of East Indian descent on how I wasn’t a “real” Indian because I was not Hindu. Thankfully my Muslim friends weren’t so ignorant; possibly because they were subject to the same idiocy.
I just wonder how I should deal with this ignorance. Should I take it upon myself to use this as an opportunity for education? Or should I just brush it off since I will barely make a dent in changing such ignorance?
